Posts Tagged ‘anger


Getting hung up in revenge

Ahithophel may not be well-know to you.  He was a counsellor of King David whose advice was esteemed and considered to be as if one had consulted the word of God (2Sam 16:23).  When King David’s rogue son, Absalom, was preparing for his coup, he invited Ahithophel to join his conspiracy.  The once-trusted adviser not only betrayed David, but he advised Absalom to publicly dishonour his father (2Sam 16:20-22) and sought permission to personally pursue and assassinate King David (2Sam 17:1-3).  What was driving this apparent about-face by Ahithophel?

Here, I am only speculating, but I believe that Ahithophel had some unsettled relational business with King David.  Ahithophel was believed to be the grandfather of Bathsheba, the women with whom King David committed adultery and then sought to cover up his sin by having her husband killed in battle.  I am suggesting that Ahithophel never really processed that wrong to his family, he never really forgave David of that sin.  Ahithophel had somehow found a way to push that unresolved relational matter underground, but time did not heal it, only allowed it to fester.  With Absalom’s coup, Ahithophel was presented with an opportunity to avenge his family of King David’s crime.  It was unsettled relational baggage that I believe was driving Ahithophel to betray, dishonour and seek King David’s life.

You might already know, but Absalom did not follow Ahithophel’s military advice.  God through another was protecting David.  When Ahithophel saw that Absalom had rejected his counsel, he saddled his donkey, journeyed to his home town, settled his affairs and hung himself (2Sam 17:23).  I sense that  Ahithophel’s reason for living had devolved to getting revenge against David.

None of us want to find ourselves in that state.  Safeguarding ourselves against such craziness involves being pro-active in processing relational mess-ups.  Here are 3 suggestions, I would love to hear what else you would add.

1. Process anger in healthy ways.

2. Release others from “owing you” for their screw-ups.

3. If another feels offended by you, make it a priority to do what you ought to make it right.


Seven things men struggle with

Are you compelled to read on? Maybe you are a bit like me, you don’t really want someone to point out the things you struggle with, particularly if it seems like they are just adding to the list you are already keeping. But wait, I could have easily (and maybe more wisely) entitled this post “Seven things men can overcome”.John, one of the twelve who followed Jesus wrote these words,//

I write to you, young men,
because you are strong,
and the word of God abides in you,
and you have overcome the evil one. (1Jn 2:14b ESV)

As men of the Way we have overcome the evil one. Not on our own, but because the word of God dwells in us. This is what John heard Jesus himself say,

31 So Jesus said to the Jews who had believed in him, “If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, 32 and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” (Jn 8:31-32 ESV).

We no longer need to be enslaved by the sins that seem to so easily entangle men. And what are those things? Read on.

  • Addictions
  • Anger
  • Arrogance
  • Arrears (i.e., caught in a debt trap)
  • Anarchy (i.e., rejection of authority)
  • Absenteeism (i.e., being checked out physically or emotionally from the family)
  • Abdication (i.e., abandoning our responsibility of servant leadership)

Do you see yourself in any of this? If you say no, you might want to check out this link.


This blog is a place to wrestle with loving, leading and labouring according to the Jesus Way.


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