Seven percent ain’t enough, do you hear me?

Seven percent! The rest comes from other things. Just 7% of the meaning someone is communicating comes through their words, the rest is found in their intonation, body language, facial expressions and other non-verbal means.

Now that might explain why I don’t always understand what my wife and kids are trying to tell me. Could it be I am too focused on the “message” and miss the meaning-rich delivery? Do I need to refocus my attention such that not only can I hear what they are saying but I can process how they said it? What was in their tone? Where were they looking when they talked to me? What did they do with their hands?

My listening needs to be active. Sometimes what I will do is to give the person talking some feedback in order to test out if I am catching their meaning. I won’t just repeat the verbal message I will add in some of what I am picking up from their non-verbals.

What do you do to improve your understanding of what people are communicating?

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Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God. (Ja 1:19-20)

Kids and substance abuse

Substance abuse among our kids, when does it start?  High school?  That is pretty much what I thought, until I read an article that cited a study about drug use among youth in my area.  That study found that 31% of seventh graders had begun to abuse alcohol by the sixth grade!

Time to get my head out of the sand and realize that being intentional about forming my sixth grader’s understanding about alcohol, prescription drugs and street drugs is upon me.

That same article indicated that a positive parent-child relationship plays a key role in drug proofing my kid.  Recently my sixth grader talked me into playing a ‘first-person’ video game along with him.  Seriously, I stink at video games. I am a digital alien who can count the number of hours spent with a joy stick with two hands and still have fingers left over.  But my son looks forward to this “time” together, and I am finally seeing that for me it isn’t about the video game but about building relationship with him.

Finding my way around “The Golden Compass”

In an earlier post I talked about feeling like a “dial-up dad” in a “high-speed” world. One of the things that I struggle with is trying to stay informed about the various media influences that swirl around my kids. The recent release of the movie “The Golden Compass” is an example of that. What is the good, bad and ugly? I need to know because I want to have an answer for my kids before the “buzz” begins. I stumbled upon this excellent review by Al Mohler while sifting through my feeds and thought I would recommend it to you.

A tip for “dial-up” dads

Do you every feel like a “dial-up” dad in a “high-speed” world? I do. Change is constant and can feel overwhelming.

One of the things that I have done to broaden my “bandwidth” is to learn to use a feed aggregator. Simply put an aggregator is a piece of software that enables me to subscribe to various types of web-based content (e.g., news, podcasts, blogs) and brings it together in one place where I can scan, read or save it.

There are a bunch of free aggregators to pick from; I currently am using Google Reader. For sure it took me a while to figure out what I wanted to subscribe to, but now in about 15 minutes I can interact with a wide swath of news, trends and current affairs from my “world” and my kid’s.

What are you doing to up your “bandwidth”? Let the rest of us “dial-up” dads know!